So today's post is a little bit different than my usual “how to” of sorts. We just got back from a couple days of camping and I feel… refreshed. Rejuvenated. Relaxed. All kinds of good things. I had a lot of time to reflect and focus on my journey to really become my authentic self this year.
I've spent years upon years trying to be what people needed me to be. Or, more so, what I thought I needed to be for them. I could easily contort into so many different people because I wasn't sticking true to myself. I knew I was doing it, but when you do it for long enough – it feels like it's hard to stop.
It wasn't until I was pregnant and I think that baby bump made me realize I was so much better than that. It took a lot of soul-searching, but I put an end to that destructive behavior. And now that Lily is nearing a year old – I feel like I've got some (not all!) of my ducks in a row with this whole parenting gig that I can focus on me again.
And it's fun, really. It's a whole lot of fun, actually. I get to really dig in and learn what makes me… me. So I figured I'd let you in on the journey!
So if you really knew me, you’d know:
I rarely drink (especially since I was pregnant), but fruity drinks are my thang. Like, I could drink a dozen or two and not be too sad about the calories because YUM! They're like smoothies with a little kick.
Songs, movies, tv shows and even commercials can make me tear up super easily. Especially kid or pet related ones. There are certain movies that I literally cannot watch more than once because I'll cry too hard (I'm looking at you, Marley and Me + The Fault in Our Stars)
I love being a mom. More specifically, I love being Lily's mom. We fit together like peanut butter and jelly. It's the hardest, most enjoyable thing I have ever done and it's given me a purpose that I didn't know I needed.
Attachment parenting is one of the best choices I have ever made and I am so grateful I pursued it. We are regularly complimented by strangers about how well-behaved Lily is and it's one of the few compliments I take, smile, and thank someone for versus telling them they're wrong. (Should probably work on that, huh?)
I like to find a specific song or two I'm really into and listen to it on repeat. A lot. I've done this since I was in middle school. My family doesn't think too highly of this trait.
I can never decide if I like the ocean or the forest more. It truly depends on my mood and it drives me insane because I feel like I can never find a place that will truly feel like home.
I'm very laid back and go with the flow, but I hate when people won't make decisions. I cannot stand people that won't just make up their mind and do something. I'd rather make the wrong decision and have to deal with it than waste time making no decision.
I have an emotional affair with food from time to time and I'm not ashamed of it. I can think back to some of my favorite meals and they have memories tied to them that I could daydream about for weeks on end.
I hate holding grudges. I forgive people when I shouldn't from time to time just to get the weight off my shoulders because I can't take negativity bringing me down for too long.
I'm introverted and awkward, but if we connect over something, I'll be your new best friend.
Speaking of friends, I have very few. I didn't do a very good job at keeping friendships in the past, but truthfully, there weren't the best relationships for me. I'd like to expand my friendships, but I'm not sure where you start when you're 30, live in the middle of nowhere, and are incredibly awkward.
I'm quick to be loyal, but can be equally as quick to let go if I feel I've been wronged. It's a blessing and a curse and it's affected nearly every relationship I've ever had with a person. It's something I've worked on and have not yet figured out.
I'm often referred to as quiet or shy, but I just like observing people and I'm fairly introspective. I also use the silence to take things in and be in the moment.
I've struggled (and still do) with depression and anxiety. I've found I can mostly manage them with healthy lifestyle choices, but for some reason, I struggle to manage them both more in the evening.
I love creating things with my hands. Food, crafts, house projects – doesn't matter. It's very therapeutic for me to follow a recipe or DIY and tune most things out until I have something to show for it.
I'm going to go ahead and cut myself off there because apparently I've got a lot to share. I'll do another one of these in the future, but right now, what I'd actually love is for you to share your inside knowledge!
If I really knew you, what would I know?
Share in the comments or send me an email!