So many times I’ve gotten caught up in being “on” – especially when it comes to blogging and being an active presence on social media.
When a moment is so beautiful that it needs remembering for one reason or another, I never want to feel like I have to miss it so I can photograph it for the blog. When a meal is worth savoring every single last crumb, I never want to skim over how delicious it is just so I can show everyone on Instagram how amazing it is or even photograph every step I took to create it just to share the recipe. When a person or pet is requesting my attention for even the smallest of unimportant reasons, I never want to feel like my attention is being diverted away from them so I can refresh Twitter. And especially when life is there, waiting for me to experience it and every magnificent thing it has to offer, I never want to shrug it off and think “I’ll get around to living it later” so I can stay glued to my inbox for emails that will obviously wait.
So I (although very much so unintentionally) hit pause for a while. This time not on life, but on everything that was keeping me from really being present in this life I call my own. I had every intention of blogging through our moving, recalling all of the painful and exhilarating moments. Sharing tricks we learned and things I would avoid if we did it all over again. I was committed to doing this, I know that.
But then it slipped a little when our orders doubled because of magazine features. And then it slipped a little more as moving approached. I didn’t have the time I sleep regularly, much less update anyone other than our families on our lives. And, what started out as, guilt for abandoning my little corner of the Internet quickly turned into an overwhelming feeling of satisfaction with my life.
I was no longer trying to turn meals or outings or projects into moments that could be captured and shared online. I was simply living and enjoying them.
I was no longer trying to make my life seem anything other than what it was. My busy, messy, unorganized, and totally unbalanced life was truly my own and I had zero regrets. All of it’s imperfections were mine to live and I relished in it.
I was no longer hitting refresh for new tweets or emails or status updates of any kind because life was a little too crazy to even think about doing anything other than browsing Pinterest while I took five minutes here and there to let my aching muscles rest.
Life felt simple. Easy, even. No matter how hard it was, I was able to be there and embrace it. Good moments felt like better moments and bad moments didn’t feel life-shattering every time because I was there, being present.
So I thought about quitting blogging. I thought about getting rid of some of my social media presence, except for those needed for our business. I thought about walking away from it all because there was no way that anyone or anything could convince me to go back to how I felt before. That constant tug to always be thinking about something other than what was right in front of me was overwhelming and truly discouraging for me.
But I’m here now so obviously I didn’t quit. What I did do instead was really figure out why these things were happening. Why I was foolish enough to let anything like this happen. And while I never came up with that AHA! moment that made everything crystal clear, I did realize I wasn’t investing in my time or my effort into the right areas of my life.
While that meant a whole lot of things for my life, it also meant that I needed to step back a little bit when it came to this blog. I already have a successful business (one that’s fortunately growing much quicker than I anticipated) and I have zero want to have two businesses that require that much time, effort, and money to be put into it on a daily basis. Instead, I want an outlet. A place to remember what I’ve done, what I hope to do, and the journey I take to find true happiness. A place to share my passions and to find other people with similar passions. A place to connect with like-minded people and to hear their hopes, their goals, and their dreams.
I can’t tell you what exactly that means for the big picture of this blog because I’ve come to learn that “the same ol, same ol” really isn’t my thing and as soon as I commit to something out loud, I usually royally suck at following through with it. But what I can tell you is what it means right now. Right now, this blog will have zero paid advertising on it unless it’s the perfect opportunity, which is rare and hard to find. This blog will be less about sticking to the rules/should dos/never dos and more about doing my thing whenever I can (which, I hope is often.) Most importantly, this blog will be a true representation of me which means weird, inconsistent, unpredictable, and indecisive, but always honest.
And while I do want all of the readers who have stuck around to know all of that, this post really isn’t for you. It’s more of a reminder for me. Something to kick my butt in gear when I let my true vision for this place slide.
I greatly appreciate every single one of you that reads this. I have every intention of using the time I do spend online getting to know people like you, reading your blogs and connecting with you on social media. Say hi on Twitter or Facebook, let me know how I can stalk your photos on Instagram, or even leave me your blog link so I can get to know you better. My goal is to use my time blogging or on social media for something worthwhile and I know that connecting with people like you is definitely worth it.